Day 247: Ball of Nerves

The sunset through the trees.

I named this picture "Ball of Nerves" because I wanted to use the word "ball" since it's a picture of a bunch of dangling balls on a tree, but no matter how I tried to mix the words around, "dangle" and "balls" just couldn't go together in the title without making unintended references.

Also, because I was a nervous wreck today.

Obviously this happens to me frequently since I write about it a lot on this blog, but it doesn't make it any easier.  Some days I just handle the huge responsibility of my work load better than others.  Today all I could see was the big picture of everything in the world that I had to do (personally and professionally) and it panicked me so badly that I couldn't concentrate on a single task.  I even had to take a break in one of the empty offices by sitting on the floor in the dark, trying to calm my breathing and empty my mind.  Of course, this didn't work because I really think it might be impossible to clear my head of all thoughts.  I've tried oh, so many times, but there's always something going on up there.  Plus I have the attention span of a kid in a candy store.  My brain is always frantically running from one subject to another so fast that I tend to loose the thread of my own inner dialog every few minutes or so.

I'm not kidding though, I literally lasted 4 minutes in that dark room before getting up and walking out more frustrated than when I started.

And it felt like 20 minutes.

But, I'm sure tomorrow will go much better, because it usually works out that way.