I'm pretty in tune with myself when it comes to figuring out my flaws and processes. I like to say that I'm self-aware, which I use as a positive thing, but at times like today, when I figure something out about myself that I don't like, I really hate that phrase.
I was talking to Christine about something I've been thinking about, and as I explained my thought process, I could hear how cynical I was being about it. And it hit me. I have a complete lack of confidence or faith in people. I never thought of myself as a glass-half-empty kind of person, but when it comes to my fellow man, apparently I am. It wouldn't be so bad if I were a cynic in general, but I'm only a cynic when it comes to people's ability to change and become better.
I don't think anyone can change?! What!? Me?
Yep.
It's tragic. I'm fundamentally flawed if I think no-one has a chance to progress. But I guess the self-aware part really helps, because I KNOW that's not true. I seriously know better than to think that people aren't capable of progressing. I mean, that's the whole point of this life!! To become better, to grow, to learn!
So if I've been allowing myself to subconsciously judge my fellow man like that, then I need to stop. Because that kind of thinking not only stops my own ability to change and grow, but it stops my ability to trust and love as well. And what's the point of life without those things!
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